While our typical postings wax on liberty and it’s plight in the current political era, it’s good to take a few minutes here and there to have some fun. With Halloween just over a week away and parties starting up as soon as this weekend, we’d like to take a look into the all powerful “Lions of Liberty Halloween Crystal Pool of The Future” and predict the cliche Halloween costumes that you will see this season. And also a couple that you should see, but won’t.
The costumes you WILL See:
1. Binder Mitt
Without a doubt, every liberal you know that can pull off a hair helmet, big white smile and Trapper Keeper full of gals will be donning his suit to make fun of Mitt Romney’s now famous phrase, “We have binders full of women.” Without a doubt, Binder Mitt will be enormously popular this Halloween.
2. Mitt’s Binder Full of Women
On that same theme, women will want to get in on the act as well (however, they can only get in on the act 77% as much as men). Thus, let me introduce the sure-fire top politically-themed costume for women this season: Mitt’s Binder of Women. A full, body-sized binder made of foam board or cardboard, which the wearer is the central woman in. Then add some poster board pages of women from magazines. Will this win you a costume contest? You bet your ass it will.
3. Workout Paul Ryan
I actually think this will be the absolute most worn costume of the year. Why? Because it’s hilarious (if obvious) and incredibly easy to pull off. All you need are headphones, a red baseball cap, workout shorts, grey T-shirt and a dumbbell. You can get everything you need at Target in one go.
4. Mularkey Joe Biden
You can’t say the word “mularkry,” 17 times in a debate and also be a rambling incoherent mess of an Irishman (be drunk, just not incoherent, Joe) without inspiring a costume. Joltin’ Joe Biden in leprechaun gear could make an appearance this year.
The costumes you SHOULD see, but won’t.
The fact that anything making fun of either Michelle or Barack Obama is instantly labeled racist pretty much knocks these costumes out of contention, however maybe some brave soul should step up to the plate.
1. Lunch Lady Michelle
How many drones will be in the skies soon? 30,000? And it’s never mentioned in the debates, even when Obama is mocking the Chinese government for spying on its own people? That cries out desperately for a costume! Drone doodle-boppers need to be made available. Maybe if enough of you fine readers come to this site, we’ll actually make some cash and I’ll commission a full shipment.
Happy Halloween to one and all from the Lions of Liberty and thanks for reading! Feel free to add any other costume ideas or predictions in the comments.