3rd Democratic Debate 2019 DRINKING GAME: One Stage; Many Stages of Denial

This clown circus has finally thrown enough acts into the hobo chili and we're down to a single clown car. 10 candidates will converge for just ONE night of mostly meaningless virtue signalling that ignores the basics of the US Constitution, the absolutely insane national debt, the limits of modern monetary theory and (in the case of Joe Biden's bloody Terminator eye) even the laws of space time. We'll have one stage but many stages of denial, as the majority of these candidates don't realize they are dead men walking, zombies shambling along this path until the DNC decides they are too inconvenient to whatever establishment chump eventually runs against Trump.

We’ll be live tweeting the debate event tonight (@BrianMcWilliams, @MarcDClair, @HowardSnowdon and @JohnOdermatt in addition to @LionsoOfLiberty), and following that by recording some live reaction show fun for our Lion’s Pride members that will air for the rest of you peons on Monday. Now, without further ado, “Democratic Debate 3 Drinking Game – Liberty Rules!”  – xoxo Brian

Special Rules:

• Blood in the Water: If Joe Biden's eyes (either of them) fill with blood, pour some tomato juice or hot sauce into your beer and chug it
• The People in My Neighborhood: Anytime Cory Booker talks about "his neighborhood" you must loudly sing "These are the people in your neighborhood" from Sesame Street

• Make it Beto: Anytime Beto O'Rourke talks about mandatory gun buybacks, make it rain with whatever is in your wallet
• Reparations for my Homies: Any time “reparations” are mentioned, you have to give the closest black person to you your drink and they must drink it for the number of seconds equal to how many black friends you (claim) to have
• Reparations for my Homies 2: If you happen to BE black, drink for the number of seconds you feel you’re owed anytime someone mentions the topic
• The Price is Right: When any candidates are discussing competing budget, climate, free school, etc. proposals, drink the number of seconds equivalent to the difference in monetary amount (rounded off in large chunks). If Warren wants free college and it’ll cost 1.2T vs. Beto’s 1.4T you drink for 2 seconds.
• It’s Not Easy Being Green Social: Any time climate proposals come up, everyone must loudly proclaim, in a Kermit the Frog Voice, “it’s not easy being green,” then everyone drinks.

Drink Any Time You Hear: 

• UBI
• Someone slams Obama
• Universal Healthcare
• Student Debt
• Gun Control
• Problematic
• Pay / Wage Gap
• Intersectional
• $15 Minimum Wage
• Iran
• Border
• College as a human right
• Bernie Sanders mispronounces “human” as “euman”
• Someone says Buttigieg’s name wrong
• A random audience member is mistaken for one of the candidates
• Raising taxes on the rich is mentioned and/or someone says “the 1%”
• FDR or the New Deal is referenced
• Anyone talks about seperating children at the border

Chug Your Drink And Don’t Stop Until They Do:

• Anytime a candidate goes over their allotted time, you must drink until they finish speaking
• ANY candidate actually tries to explain how their plans would work economically, you must drink until they finish speaking

Finish Your Drink: 

• When the first Democrat on stage compliments John Bolton or says he was "the adult in the room"
• Anyone actually talks about blowback
• Anyone, on stage or off, actually calls another candidate a socialist
• Someone argues FOR the legalization of drugs
• Anyone supports the 2nd amendment
• A candidate calls for military action against Russia
• A candidate lapses into Spanish to pander to Latinos / Hispanics
• The Federal Reserve comes up

Enjoy the debate, everyone! Odds are, even if you follow every one of these rules, you’ll still be less drunk than at least half the candidates on stage.

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